I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
