Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize