No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize