JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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