Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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