Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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