Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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