Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just gargled with NyQuil
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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