So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
