i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
