somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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