Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
