I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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