Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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