I got chris browned last night
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
