All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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