Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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