I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
