Plan B is the new Plan A
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The struggles of a small town man whore
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
