If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
