What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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