Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
