Church boner. Awkwardddd
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
