Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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