Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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