the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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