2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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