Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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