She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
