Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
