I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
