Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
