Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
pray to the hookup gods
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
