It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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