my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
