i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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