the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
