Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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