Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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