i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
