There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
