Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
