you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
