is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize