I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
