I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize