If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
