so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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