At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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