oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
