How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
