3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
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