you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Randomize
