Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
