dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
