I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just took my morning after pill in the library
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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