Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
