i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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